Sitting on the porch of Maggie’s house talking with her about old times gone by, she asks, “Do you want to go for a ride like we did when we were younger?” I said, “Like we did in the good old days? Well ok, where are you going to take me this time?” She replied, “The back roads near Vicksburg. I know this place that I have wanted to go for years, but something has kept me away from there until now and I know I must go there with you. This place pulls at me every time I pass it. It is like I have lived there. And if I return to that place all my dreams will come true and everything will be made right in my life for the first time in a very long time.” When we were younger, we would ride the back roads of Mississippi until we found an old house to explore. So now off we go to find that house that is pulling at her heart. Where her past may be waiting for her or death may be waiting for me.
We have been riding for about an hour, when she says, “This is it. You can see the old brick road winding into the woods. Can you feel it pulling at you? Does it feel like you have been here before?” Deep inside I feel as if I know this place. I can feel the happy times we had here, the joy, and the love we shared in a time long ago, but I can also feel the dark time that awaits us just on the other side.
I ask jokingly as she parks the car, “Would you like to go for a walk to find the house and see where we once lived and died?” Just as we open the car door, a wagon passes by being driven by a man who looks like he is from the 1800’s. So now we start on the biggest adventure of our lives, but we have no way of knowing just how big it will be. As we start down the brick road, there is a gate with a sign hanging over it. As I read the words on the sign, “Shadow Wood”, my blood runs cold. Maggie asks, “Does it feel as if we have been here before”. The feeling of doom is stronger and I feel it all the way down into my soul. I feel as if I had lived and died in this very place, I can not tell her. She says, “I know there are a meadow and a big house just ahead for us to explore”. I tell her, “I have been here before?” She replies, “I do not think so, not in this life time anyway”. I tell her, “I feel like I have been here before. I know I have been here. Maybe you are right, not in this life time, but the one where we were married and had a child”. I get the feeling if I keep going forward I will surely be killed. But something within me makes me keep on going as if I am pulled to this place. Maggie was right. This place does pull at your heart.
We can see the leaves have turned gold and red and now they are turning brown and falling to the ground. As we walk deeper into the woods, the wind is blowing softly through the limbs. It seems to be calling our names low and soft. After walking about a mile or so into the woods, we come along a bluff overlooking the Mississippi River. As we turn looking at the leaves in all their glory, we can see the outline of an old house through the woods. We both stop and stare at it as if we know it. We start up the hill towards the house when a mist comes rolling in over us. Out of the mist appears a barefoot young black boy. He runs by us saying, “Ms. Magnolia, you are late, Jennie is as mad as a wet hen”. We watch him run down the hill until he disappears back into the mist. As we continue up the hill to the house, we see that the house is empty. Walking around the outside, we notice the elegance and grace of this old house still shows though, even though there is no glass in the windows and the doors are standing open. It looks as if no one has been here for over a hundred years or more. As we started up the back steps, a cold wind blows sending a chill up our spines. We stand at the back door not knowing if we should enter this house as we have so many others. But we realize that we must enter.
As we step through the back door everything begins to change and we know we can never go back even if we try. We hear the faint sound of music as we walk across the old wooden floor. Entering the room, we notice that the wood begins to change. It starts to look new and clean. The old walls look weather worn, but the farther we go into the room, the newer everything looks. By the time we are half way inside, the walls look newly painted and the smell of food is all around. We can hear people laughing and talking. As the door opens in front of us, a black woman comes in saying, “Ms. Magnolia and Master Tommy, thank you sweet Jesus, you are here. You are late for your own party”. With surprise, we look at her. Then the woman tells us, “get in that other room before all that food is gone. Where have you been? Out at that meadow I suppose. The guests have been here an hour.” As we enter the ballroom, a crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling with candles illuminating the room. There are young men and women dancing to a small band. Through a door across the room I see men standing around smoking cigars, drinking brandy and talking. The older women are standing to one side watching the younger people dance. Turning to Maggie, I notice that she is in the most beautiful blue velvet dress I have ever seen, her hair pulled back with a blue velvet ribbon and her lips are painted red. Her blue eyes sparkle with the love she has for me along with the surprise and joy of what is happening to us. I ask, “Is this real? Are we really here? Is this really happening?”
Time has taken us back to when she was 20 and I was 22. I see on her finger a sparkling diamond ring together with a wedding band. On my left hand was a matching wedding band. Somehow we know every person here. Some of them we have known for years, others we have just met. They all compliment us on our house, the decorations, and the food. A woman begins walking our way. As she gets closer, we see that it is my mother. She is happy to see us and hugs Maggie telling her how beautiful she looks and that she almost glows. We have not told anyone about the new life that we are bringing into this wonderful world. We watch Maggie’s mother and father as they dance. You can tell by the way he holds her that they have the type of love for each other that will only deepen as they grow older together. The music stops and they come over to join us. My father is drinking brandy with the men. He is telling old war stories. After 30 years in the army, he is now farming a small place, about 12,000 acres, mostly cotton, some soybeans, and a large vegetable garden
I stopped the band to get the attention of our friends and family to make a big announcement. I stand on the bandstand and begin my speech. “I have brought my family and friends together tonight to make an announcement. In the spring I will become a father. Magnolia is with our first child. We only found out about a week ago and decided to make the announcement when all of our friends and family were gathered together. I want to thank you all for being here on this most joyful occasion, and of course, it will be a boy.” I look down from the bandstand and say to Maggie, “My lady, may I have this dance?” As I lead her onto the floor her dress swishes with every step. The dancers part to give us the floor. The band begins to play a slow waltz as I hold her gently in my arms and we dance as if we were the only two people in the world. The grandmothers-to-be try their best to make Maggie sit down and rest now that they know that she will have their first grandchild in a short six months. We dance most of the night stopping only to refresh ourselves. At 10 p.m., the guests begin to leave. Their carriages are brought to the front and the women are helped in as their husbands tell us goodbye and then get in with them. The drivers pull away into the dark night. The wind is blowing stronger and it’s turning colder. The last people to leave are our parents. They start to their houses only five miles away in opposite directions as we walk back inside the house. Jennie is watching the maids clean up. I tell the servers to go to bed tonight and finish in the morning. Jennie tells us, “they will get them dirty dishes then they can go to bed after this house is cleaned up and not until”. We know better than to say anything more as we head upstairs to bed.
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